He doesn’t know a thing about conversions or usability.
He thinks his way is the only way to do SEO.
Recommendations for your meta keyword tags are considered “critical.”
When all your competitors are buying links but your SEO recommends “playing fair.” (via chrisfaron)
You can’t get them to return your calls or emails, but they are burning up twitter with status updates.
When your 404 error log is bigger than your referral log. (via @btabke)
Foursquare says they checked in at the beach when they should be checking on your account.
Your SEO firm boasts you get a dedicated SEO Strategist, PPC Strategies, Link Strategist, Analytic Strategist, Social Media Strategist and Copywriter. But it’s all the same person.
Your home page title tag still reads, “home page” (via Matt_Siltala)
They spend more time on Google+ and tweeting about it than they do on your site and fixing it.
The person in charge of SEO scratches their head and asks “What is SEO?” (via @Trinity_IT)
They provide ranking guarantees based on #1 rankings for AltaVista.
They provide ranking guarantees based on #1 rankings for VERY long-tail keywords
Your first paragraph lists your city 5 times. (via @ACTeeple)
He believes everything Matt Cutts says.
They claim to have a “special” relationship with Google.